Thursday 17 July 2014

Look what I'm rewriting again...



I first wrote this play in 2002 and performed with my friends Daniel Hoffmann-Gill.  Back then it was 35 minutes long, now it's 90mins (a film) and to advertise it a little I thought I'd send a little of it into the world to see what you think.


Background information - Barry and Steph have broken into an old mans room and found a dead Budgie.

BARRY
What we need is some kind of specialist. A body moving type specialist that specialises in moving dead bodies.
STEPH
A cleaner.
BARRY
Yea. A cleaner, like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction.
STEPH
Do you know anyone?
BARRY
Like who?
STEPH
You must have met someone in prison that could help. I mean you were in one of the toughest open prisons in the country. Filled with notorious villains, hard men and fixers, you must have met somebody?
BARRY
I know a good driver. Shared a cell with him, have you heard of Spit Wilson? He was on "Stop, Police, Camera" or was it Camera, Police Stop! One of them programmes anyway. He nicked a BMW off a forecourt. He reckoned that it was the longest recorded police chase ever broadcast on telly. It was that good they dedicated a full-half hour special to it called "Streets of Death". They got that there, oh what's her name - consonant, vowel, consonant, you know, got the sack, you know the Countdown woman used to be ugly now she's not.
(He sings the Countdown clock tune)
STEPH
Carol Vorderman.
BARRY
Carol Vordeman, she did the voice over. Anyway he was finally caught with one of them stingers on the A614 near Bilsthorpe. He reckoned he'd of got further if it wasn't for the caravan on the back.
Do you know why they called Spit Wilson, Spit Wilson?
STEPH
No.
BARRY
Always spitting.


For more information and to book tickets (when they go on sale) look here
 

No comments:

Post a Comment