Monday, 6 June 2016

Unidentified Floating Object

My brother, Darren was the first to spot it.  He switched on the living room light at my grandma's house and as he went to close the curtains it was there.  A floating glowing orange orb hovering over Fraser Crescent.  Darren read about UFO's and had a great knowledge about extra terrestrials, so we all listened.

"What they do is take data" He explained.  "These surveillance ships scout planets for minerals and stuff, then when they have what they want targeted they give the signal to the mother ships".
"Our Darren knows what he's on about" My Grandma said. "Tell em about the pipes they stick on your head to drain your brains, do you think we should ring someone, get the experts in?"

Darren explained that in Close Encounters nobody was believed until it was too late, we should ring the Evening Post.

The girl on the phone didn't seem too interested, even when told her about the pipes sucking out brains.  "I'll take your details and pass them on."  She said.

By now word had spread and the slow trickle of excited kids wanting to see the phenomena was getting longer.  "As long as they wipe their feet they can come in." Gran told us. "We should charge." I said.

Within hours, Mr. Swanick learnt of the news and was knocking.  Mr. Swanick (Ted) worked for the council and was famously doing an Open University course, so his views were always sort.  "I've heard all about your sighting" he said. "Thought I'd come and see it for myself."  He walked into the living room where a group of ten year olds were talking about the best places to hide when the alien invasion happened.  "If they came now I'd lock myself in the Co-Op, you could live for years".

"Have you tried communicating with it?" Mr. Swanick asked. Everyone looked at him open mouthed.  "What would we say?" Grandma said.  "I'd ask why it only appeared when Darren switched the living room light on?"

Lakes, House Buying & My Mum


This week Mark and Joanne (Foxy Wharton) have been on their hols to the lake district. After meeting Beatrix Potter in the pub they decide to buy a house in Rawtenstall (Rottenstall in East Lancs talk) and to excommunicate Jo’s Mum.