Thursday, 26 November 2009

I'm living in beautiful mono again.

You may remember my dog ate the hearing aid and left me sad and deaf, well thanks to the NHS I know have an aid for both ears. Unfortunately the left ear is so damaged I can't really get any noise I recognise from it.

Rehearsals are going well for Poles Apart. Dan has been up all week and we open tonight at the Lowry to a sell out crowd. The promoter there emailed me yesterday to tell me they had one seat left, thank you Manchester. Dan has written a load more material about the BNP and last night I dreamt a load of Brown Shirts were waiting for me outside the theatre. Hope dreams don't come true.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


Could I play his Dad? Answers on a post card.

We've nearly sold out at the Lowry, I'm so excited. Poles Apart is the most successfully show we've done. I know Dan reads this, (just in case I write about him) so listen. What you doing messing about in London when the world wants to see and laugh with you. 'Get on board the friendship train.' Write a show and tour with Whiteley, you're both good at it.

If you live in London though buy a ticket for Rich Mix

Enough already. I auditioned today for Hollyoaks as a dad with MS. If I got the gig I'd have to act in a wheel chair. Deaf and disabled - is there no limits to my talents? I spent all day learning the script all three scenes only to be told by Dorothy Andrew not to bother.

The Elves and the Shoemaker is also exceeding expectations. It's going to be an excellent show.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

What is it about people?

I got this facebook link sent to me from someone thinking that Poles Apart is a racist anti-Polish show. have a look.



I made this for you

I made a film for Poles Apart here. It's to publicise our next shows later this month.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

News for November

Hello Everyone,

I have just finished writing a play today so I'm in a very good mood. I'm
so happy I'd thought I'd share some of the love with you.

Right, I've got loads of stuff to tell you. Firstly Dan and I (if you
didn't know) are performing Poles Apart again at the Lowry in
Salford and the Rich Mix in Bethnal Green
*LONDON*. I've had my hair cut specially. If you didn't catch this show
earlier this year I urge you to go, it's funny with a serious message & and
with One Eyed Nick Griffin popping up every where this message of racial
harmony needs pushing.

Next - I've started a facebook group for people like you. I'm not very good
on Facebook so bare with me. To join the group click on this link here - no
here - no over here

It's going rather well isn't it?

Okay, if you really want to get in the mind of a world class actor/writer
you know can, by searching Alan Bennett on Google for everyone else I now
write me own BLOG . * "It's all
about me, it's all about me baby."*

And finally, this is where you're supposed to come up with a light hearted
story to finish the news, well sorry. The play I've just finished today is
called Knife Edge. If you
saw GRASS last year it's a step in
that direction. It's very scary, very serious and very dark story about a
fatal stabbing and how a family deal with aftermath. It tours next year so
look out for it.

That's it.

I nearly forgot. For all you fun loving 3-7 year olds out there we're doing
a version of The Elves and the Shoemaker this Christmas. Well, to be honest it's more like Shrek meets the Elves and the Shoemaker. It's at the Civic Hall Uppermill 14th - 24th December then
at Helmsley Arts Centre on the 7th January

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

My Dad's Dead.

You go on holiday in Newcastle for half term and everything kicks off.

I haven't seen my dad for years, to be honest I didn't like him but nobody did. He was a nasty, violent alcoholic. He died on 16Th Oct but I didn't hear the news until the 29Th Oct. He had 7 children that I know of, 2 wives as well as 8 brother's and sister's and not one person came forward. The local council put an advert in the paper asking if any one knew him and still no one could be bothered to come forward.

They bury him next week, he's having a paupers funeral in Nottingham. This is a warning to all you nasty people out there - you will die sad and lonely and be buried in a card board box.

The best thing about this is my new family coming out of the woodwork that I've never met. I now know I have an aunty Mavis and Sheila -