Have you ever told a lie and regretted it?
 |
| Mark Whiteley as Burglar in Thick As Thieves |
About 10 years ago I wrote a comedy show about 2 burglars that I was going to take to the Edinburgh fringe festival, if
you've never visited Edinburgh festival you'll be amazed to know that there
about 2,500 different shows performing in one city over three weeks. As
you can imagine getting noticed at such a monster event is very difficult,
especially if its your first festival, your first play and you have no notable
celebrities in it.
I thought long and hard about making a splash, to come up with a
media coup that would ignite ticket sales, in the past you might remember Aaron
Barchak a
comedian who got through tight security at Windsor Castle to gate-crash
Prince Williams 21st birthday dressed as Osama bin Laden. His stunt
thrust him onto the front pages of the British press and sold him many tickets.
My idea wasn't as daring, my idea was quite conventional, my
idea was to tell the world that I was an ex burglar. The headline for my
press release was “Ex Burglar steals the show” - not brilliant, but
interesting. I sent off the emails to all the national and local press
and waited. And waited. And waited.
Nothing, not a jot, not even my local newspaper thought it was news
worthy. I was about to give up when I remembered Home Truths a BBC radio
show that took stories from the public and told them, so I mailed Home Truths
and within 2 hours they had rung me and booked me to talk to their legendary
host John Peel. Now, I must tell you that John Peel is no longer with us;
he was and still is a national treasure, I myself was a massive fan and ideally,
I wouldn’t want to lie to him, but we needed publicity.
Here’s a good game. Write
the words REFORMED BURGLAR in your internet search engine I know that if you
live in the UK you’ll come up with my story at the top of your search, indeed
you can still click and hear me telling my story. And yes ladies and gentlemen it is just a
story, just a made up story about a young kid dealing with low-level crime and
coming through it with the love of a good woman. I left the BBC studio pleased that this might
be heard and we may create a bit of interest in our Edinburgh show.
What came to pass was nothing more than astounding. I got no newspaper interest, but I did get a
call from a marketing executive for an insurance company who had heard my story
and wanted to pay me to go on a publicity drive to help keep homes safe over
the summer holidays. He wanted me to go
on the radio and give the burglars “inside’ story about keeping your home
safe. Now, I was and am a low paid
actor, my life is feast or famine, so if a wealthy company comes along and asks
me to play a part for them I have to say yes.
I studied home security advice from the police and put my own
spin on it and turned up to do the first of 48 radio interviews over two days. After the first day I was heard by T.V. producers
who wanted me to go on their shows and demonstrate to their viewers how to not
leave ladders against the bathroom window to keep safe. By the end of day two I was a Burgling
Celebrity in magazines, newspapers and web sites.
The aftermath was a little strange; I found that when there was
anything about theft or burglary in the news, lazy journalists would search the
internet for Reformed Burglars to get an opinion and my name would be top, over
the last 10 years I have graced many TV and Radio shows with my ex burglar act
and I’ll probably be doing it for years to come. So, if you asked me if I’d ever lied and
regretted I’d have to say, no, I’ve enjoyed almost every minute.
