The Clock Has Started

I started my six months countdown on Thursday. I now have until 30th Nov 2009 to become famous. I don't know how to measure such a thing so I've decided to go on Hits on the website.

If I can get 10,000 hits I'll consider myself cult.
20,000 C list celebrity
30,000 B list celebrity
50,000 + Famous

My hit counter was on 43,000 hits on Thursday since January 2004 so I've got to pull my finger out. So far I've had 328 hits so wish me luck.

End of the Piers Show.

Piers Morgan meeting Mark Whiteley on Britain's Got Talent.




Our new project As Seen On TV has got off to an amazing start with a fantastic interview with judge and tabloid legendMr Piers Morgan. Our friend Al sent me some questions to ask Piers Morgan. I haven't done any presenting on camera and Al has more experience than me (thanks Al) . Anyway Andonis and I turned up at Fountain studios where they are filming the finals of Britain's Got Talent outside hundreds of screaming girls were waiting for a glimpse of me, but we managed to sneak in the back entrance.When Piers Morgan finally tipped up he was very charming, very entertaining and he answered every question with clarity and honesty, his advice to this wannabe was also very good (more on that soon).

The interview in the bag, I moved into the adjoining dressing room to see the beautiful Amanda Holden. You can see why Simon Cowell would want her on the show, she's stunning, intelligent and loves everything about the show with a passion. She too is off state side next week to co host a TV show over there. Good luck Amanda.

After champagne with Holden and her team (Jane and Ben) Amanda suggested I knock on the door of last year's winner George Samson. In the car park area of the studios was a massive Winnebago. I don't think Andy was too fussed and didn't want to push his luck, but I thought it'd be a great interview with a great star. I knocked on his door for 5 minutes until a massive body guard appeared - "hello" I said,"is George in?" I felt like a kid next to this gorilla, maybe what I should of said was "Is George coming out to play?" He looked at me and Andy, who was standing behind with the camera and grunted "He's resting". "It's just Amanda Holden, said he might like to do a quick interview with me, I'm making a documentary about fame and he's famous isn't he?" I turned round to get some reassurance from Andy, but he'd disappeared over to a gang of school kids to get some cut aways. "He's resting" the body guard reiterated. "Okay, thanks, sorry to bother you".

I've got loads of people to meet next week including Chris Gascoyne, Sue Johnston, celebrity hair stylist Ben Cooke and celebrity dentist Phil Broughton from The Mall

If you've got any questions for them email me
If you've got any ideas how to make me famous email me

thick as thieves

If you're interested I've put the full version of thick as thieves on the web. We made this film about 5 years ago when I was loads slimmer. The play was performed over 100 times all over the country to critical acclaim.

I start a new project on Thursday. I'm trying to become famous in six months and on thursday I have an interview with Piers Morgan from Britains Got Talent.

I have no idea what I'll talk to him about - wish me luck.

Gdansk

I've just come back from Gdansk. It seems that since Poles Apart I've become a polish expert in the UK. A company over there found me on google and asked if I'd go and do some voice over for them. They were recording tourist information, you know the type of thing, you hire them and a voice (me) tells you amazing things like - "you see that wall, Neville Chamberlain pissed up it on a night out with a gang of Polish sailors".

Go to Gdansk though it's my favourite city in Poland thus far (I've only been to two)

Dogs Life

Our dog, Kit dislikes the Costco own brand dog food we've bought him. With the normal 'branded' dog food he'll empty his bowl in seconds, but with 'Doggo Biscuits' I feed him in the morning and it sits there all day. It must be the dog equivalent of lard or Haggis or sick. Unfortunately I bought the 25kg bag so he'd better get used to it.


I can't believe I've just written a blog about dogs.

NEW COMEDY

There you go. I've sat here all week thinking of what to do next and it's sorted. Our next lot of work is here.

I'm going comedy and Kids mad. All this talk of ression and doom I know just what people need. a good laugh. I'm doing Charity Begins at Home, The Elves and The Shoemaker and As Seen On T.V.

Off to see When We Were Married tommorrow, I'll let you know.


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