The Sheikh, the bucket and the parasol, The Sheikh, the bucket and the parasol. I first heard this when I was a kid in the 80's it still makes me and my kids laugh.
Saturday 3 September 2022
Monday 30 May 2022
Empty Algarve Property
Why are there so many empty properties in Portugal. Here's another in Lagos what was once loved, now lies empty and decaying.
Praia da Luz, Portugal.
37.0965462, -8.7155321
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Friday 27 May 2022
Manchester Murder
In 1828, a young boy was playing in Ancoats when he was approached by an old lady. She asked him to deliver a cake to a man named Mr Drummond. She then handed the boy two sixpences and off he went. When he knocked on Drummond's door, he was greeted by his wife, who told him that the cake was not for them.
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Thursday 26 May 2022
Praia Da Luz Marbles
Many theories have emerged about the great Luz marbles, one of my favourites are that they were left by a Cyclops who used them to throw at passing ships to keep strangers away. In mythology the Greek sailor Odysseus found the Cyclops cave and began eating his food and partying. The cyclops comes back, and is very angry so he and eats two of Odysseus's men.
Odysseus wants to kill the cyclops when he is asleep but he knows that he won’t be able to move the huge rock in front of the cave to escape so he doesn’t kill the cyclops. The next day while the Cyclops is tending his sheep they make a wooden spike and hide it. When the cyclops comes back he takes 2 other men bashes their heads against a rock and eats them. Odyssus speaks to the Cyclops and offers him a strong wine which makes him go to sleep. When the cyclops is finally sleeping, Odysseus heats the spike and stabs the cyclops eye.
The next morning they escape by tying themselves under the Cyclopes' sheep and escape the island back to their ship. When the cyclops realises he throws rocks at Odysseus's ship and barely miss them. Odysseus shouts, mocking the beast and sails into the sunset.
Another version is that Mercury the Roman god of financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, communication, travellers, boundaries, luck, trickery and thieves; placed them to guide merchants in. Luz was a fish factory back when Rome had an empire and fish was a staple diet and an important food source for the ancients.
But the truth is, the marbles were dropped off by Lagos council as a barrier to cars speeding down the road towards the sea after Derick Tomlinson from Stoke lost control of his high powered electric wheelchair and brakeless shot across the rocks and was lost to the sea forever.
RIP Derick Tomlinson Father, Grandfather and amateur electrical engineer.
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Wednesday 25 May 2022
Pam Porn and her Rubber Gloves
When I first wrote Thick As Thieves I was in it. As I got older I took a sideline, but wrote myself a little in show video. This film is seen by some audience members and not others, so enjoy.
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Friday 20 December 2019
Writing and how I try and do it.
Please take from this what you want, there are no hard or fast rules about writing.
First of all, don't listen to anyone except yourself. You know if your work is any good, you don't need others to compliment you (but it does help).
lesson 1
Idea – the idea is the most important part of writing my stories. To me they usually come out of the blue and very quickly. I usually write a half page synopsis of every idea. If the idea is any good it stays with me, I think about it night and day and let it grow in my head.
First of all, don't listen to anyone except yourself. You know if your work is any good, you don't need others to compliment you (but it does help).
lesson 1
Idea – the idea is the most important part of writing my stories. To me they usually come out of the blue and very quickly. I usually write a half page synopsis of every idea. If the idea is any good it stays with me, I think about it night and day and let it grow in my head.
Ideas I’ve never written are numerous. Some ideas stay with you for years. One of my plays, GRASS took 5 years, until I could get all the components to finish it. Sometimes it’s because I can’t think of the end. I think sometimes as I get better at writing I’ll be able to do the really mad ideas I have, I’m not good enough yet.
Ideas come from every where, friends, family, personal stories (Grass), internet, newspapers, photographs, flyers (walk this way).
Lesson 2
Research - the world, the characters, the story. I use the internet, the library and then I talk to people. This time can take months, its writing but in your head mainly. At night before I go to sleep I think about the problems in my story and I try to solve them.
Who are the characters, where do the characters live, work, their age, etc? The answers to these questions shape your story and the lives of the characters.
I write a graph for my characters like this. Every new play I start writing notes about the story. The notebook and the graft is a great source of information if I’m stuck.
I also write the story scene by scene where my hero is going - From Knife Edge
● Brian turns up and sets up theatre
● Brian gets annoyed by Alan, Brian invites Alan on stage.
I don’t always stick to this, but it helps.
Lesson 3
Write – Before I write I need to know the end so I know where I’m going. Think of it like a journey, get everyone in the car and set off to your destination. Along the way you might meet some interesting characters, your car might break down or there might be a massive diversion, but you always know where you’re headed. I think how it is best to start (usually slowly as an audience need time to settle) the middle part I make up as I go along; it’s the organic stage that I love. If you’ve done your research the middle should come easier. I like to get a first draft finished quite quickly no matter how bad it may be. After I’ve written something I usually leave it alone for a week or two then I come back to edit.
What is it about? If a play were about love I would examine and explore the depths and widths of love. Self love, young love, obsession, loathing, lost love,
We write drama – what is drama? It is conflict, things rubbing against each other. One says yes, the other says no. So my love story wouldn’t be boy meets girl they live happily ever after – that’s boring.
Lesson 4
Edit – when I edit I start with first draft and rip it to bits. Never be scared to take things out, if it doesn’t work cut it.
○ Find out what the plays about?
○ More in-depth Research, is the world and characters plausible? I want an audience ideally to believe me and be carried away with the story and my characters.
○ Smooth out the scenes, most of my first drafts are disjointed, I might repeat myself.
Re write. I have never finished writing a play yet. Even as the play is being performed I’ll still be thinking, tinkering.
Lesson 5
Structure - You need tension and excitement as well as climaxes.
and finally...
Rehearsed reading – if you’re planning to get the play on, try and get people to help you listen to it. Plays are to be played by actors and actors are great at finding all the holes for you. When a play is cast the actor will concentrate all the attention on their part, they will underline or highlight only their words or their actions, that’s what they’re (we’re trained to do). If an actor comes up with something better steal it, the play will always have your name on it. Knife Edge was read in front of an audience of actors, writers, producers and directors – it was very nerve wracking, but a good way to pick their brains.
I have a CSE in English
My story would be like Romeo and Juliet – two lovers who can’t be together because of their families.
Location:
Lancashire, UK
Thursday 19 December 2019
The disappeared
I was working as a removal man this week, trying to make a few quid before Christmas. The guy I work for, my friend has a contract with the local council and part of the job includes clearing accommodation of deceased who have no family. This week we emptied the flat of a woman, by the looks of the photo she's probably in her early 60's. Whilst I was sorting the bedroom I found this document in a folder.
To whom it may concern,
Re: Katherine Hughes
Ref: LC-1 -799-399-290234
I am detective Inspector John Preston, I retired from the force a couple of years ago. I understand that this case still holds many unanswered questions, indeed I think about it regularly. Here is the basic information, please feel free to call me if you need to talk further.
To whom it may concern,
Re: Katherine Hughes
Ref: LC-1 -799-399-290234
I am detective Inspector John Preston, I retired from the force a couple of years ago. I understand that this case still holds many unanswered questions, indeed I think about it regularly. Here is the basic information, please feel free to call me if you need to talk further.
Katherine Hughes was 19, she’d recently moved here to the university. Her friends describe her as happy go lucky and very caring. On Wednesday October 30th 2013 her car was found in this car park, unlocked with the keys in the ignition and the car’s radio was on high volume, tuned into classic fm.
These are the facts I know.
On Monday 28th Katherine complains to her flatmates that her laptop had disappeared, she was cross because she claimed the laptop was in her bedroom and she wanted to know who had been into her bedroom.
The following day she logs on to eBay on her mobile phone and makes an offer of £70 on a Dell laptop being sold locally. Within minutes the offer has been excepted. Today eBay has changed it’s policies, but you could back then leave a mobile number in the description. Katherine texts the seller and he replies almost instantly. He suggests that they meet later in a McDonald’s restaurant which is about ‘halfway’ he said. She agrees.
We know from cctv footage that Katherine arrives at the McDonalds at 6.50pm that evening. The place is busy and she goes through the drive through and buys a Coke and small fries. She parks in the corner of the car park and waits.
At 7.05pm she receives a call from the seller, we don’t know what was said, but 30 seconds after she hung up she receives a text with the post code for a car park. I’m guessing, but I think he told her he had engine trouble or something. Whatever he said, he must have sounded convincing and plausible, for her to leave she safe McDonalds car park and drive into the night, alone.
The next part of the story comes from Katherines mobile phone service provider who were able to track her using the mobile towers that her phone pinged on her journey. Google maps tells us that she arrived her at 7.23pm then at 7.28pm the emergency services received this call from Katherine's phone.
Her phone was found by the wall, the screen cracked. To this day no one has seen or heard from her, no body has been found and although the case is officially still open, police just don’t have the man power to resume investigations, unless significant evidence comes to light.
Can I also tell you about Mark Harrison. 12 months after Katherine disappeared Mark Harrison was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary. He was caught in a student house, when the occupiers came home early and discovered him he pulled a large kitchen knife from his coat and threatened them. A brave, quick thinking young man managed to disarm him and hold him till police arrived. When officers searched Mark Harrison’s home they found a laptop, the same laptop (they think) that Katherine had left home to buy 12 months earlier. He denied any knowledge and with no new evidence the case will go back to sleep.
The dog walker who found Katherine’s car told me that as he walked over to the car the radio was playing Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor by Sergei Rachmaninoff.
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