Hard Graft Theatre Co.

Kids, who'd have them? Me

2011-05-19T19:02:00.003+01:00

My children have been away now for a nearly four weeks and I miss them. I catch myself looking at their photos and tears fill my eyes, i'm crying now writing this. They have followed their mum to Guadeloupe in the Caribbean where she's working for the BBC until August. The worst thing is the communications between here and there, Skype is crap, the phones are rubbish and forget about sending letters, I'd might as well take it myself.

The loneliness is sometimes hard. I have proper conversations with dog, I mean proper, politics, religion, dog food. Talking to myself like some mental serial killer in a B Movie (I'm laughing now - but not like a mental serial killer, don't get me wrong I'm not mad, yet).

Have you ever told a lie and regretted it?

2011-05-14T15:27:00.001+01:00

In 2004 I told the world that I was a burglar. My friend Daniel Hoffmann-Gill and myself needed a little bit of publicity for a comedy we were producing at the Edinburgh fringe, what happened next who catapult me into the public eye with a story that would follow me for the next seven years.

After a couple of interviews with local press the story was picked up by BBC Radio 4’s Home Truths and I was interviewed by the late John Peel. I thought that would be that, we’d get a few more “bums on seats” and our Festival would be a success, but fate had a few more twists to unfold.

My interview on Home Truths was heard by the Marketing Director of a major insurance company who thought it would be a great way to get their brand into the press, by hiring a ‘reformed burglar’ to give the public advice about keeping their homes safe during the summer. The result was unbelievable, TVAM, BBC News 24, East Midlands Today and most regional BBC Radio. One after another I told my ‘story’ how I stood over an old man whilst he slept, or how I stole £4000 of camping equipment because we wanted to go to Matlock one Easter. The media lapped it up and to date I have talked with countless presenters including Nicky Campbell on BBC 5 Live, Gaby Roslin and Paul Ross on BBC London and the then Home Secretary Jackie Smith. My little lie did get us a lot of publicity, it put bums on seats, it entertained thousands if not millions of people, it educated the general public about keeping the homes safe, but it was a story, a fiction, a lie.

If you don’t believe me write the words ‘reformed burglar’ in any search engine and I’m top.

Sorry.

Mark Whiteley will be telling this story and many others at

May

13th Lakeside Nottingham

21st - 22nd Lowry Salford

26th - Square Chapel Halifax

June 3rd Stafford Gatehouse

9th The Plough Arts Centre, Great Torrington Devon’

10th Newark Palace

For further information contact Hard Graft Theatre Company 01706 881 258

lies lies lies

2011-04-26T13:52:00.002+01:00

Well, whilst you're all building road blocks and coning off your Crescent in preparation for the Royal Wedding I will be putting my suit on and working. Some idiot booked a gig this Friday, how was I suppose to know that our future King would marry some Coal miners great, great, great grand daughter? So here you go, here's my apology to the couple "Dear William and Kate sorry for ruining your wedding plans, I'm sure a few of your guests will turn up, if they don't I'm sure they'll video your big day."

I'm doing a tour of my story in show business. It's called When Will I Be Famous and in it I'm telling the truth about my life in the celebrity eye, or lack of it. For the last 16 years I have tried and failed to become famous, in this quest I have:

1. Lied to John Peel about my life of crime (Try writing 'Reformed Burglar' in any internet search engine I'm top)

2. I lied to various News programmes (GMTV, BBC NEWS 24, East Midlands Today!) on numerous occasions to give my views about being a reformed burglar, theft and debated with the Home Secretary Jackie Smith how she should deal with criminals.

3. I walked across the country, coast to coast with no money, accommodation or food. Performing each evening to survive.

4. I emigrated to Poland to reverse the immigration trend of a few years ago and appeared on there equivalent of This Morning.

5. I sold the first performance of a play on eBay. here

6. I lived in a tent on Hampstead Heath for three months whilst at Drama School.

7. I performed in a porn film. (although perform is probably not the word my co-star would use)

.hardgraft.co.uk

REVIEW Our Style is Legendary

2011-03-18T07:16:00.000Z

Our Style Is Legendary

By Daniel Hoffmann-Gill
Hard Graft Theatre Company.
Tristan Bates Theatre

Review by Howard Loxton (2011)

This new play is a picture of teenage life on a rundown Nottingham council in the late 1980s and early 90s. Rich White's set (his first - he's a sculptor) is a number of panels that at first suggest concrete blocks or the walls of a pedestrian underpass which can be moved around by the cast to indicate different locations or interiors such as a classroom At the rear, glimpsed between them, are some flowers tied onto a lamp-post, a reminder of some past tragic death.

Roaming around already chatting to the audience as they come in is a character, played by James Hooton (who has been given time off from Emmerdale to appear in this drama), who is swigging beer from a can. He calls himself 'the Swinging Man' (perhaps from the track on the Black Flag's 1984 album My War) and acts as a sort of 'chorus to this history', describing the Nottingham he knows, its posh parts and the not posh, like where this is set, and hovers over some scenes as well as marking time passing through the years to introduce others. He reminds us of Nottingham's coat of arms with its twin stags and the city's motto which gives this play its title. He too is one of the losers from Nottingham's underbelly and his up front vernacular tells it as it is, describing how he 'came home to find mum hanging from the light fittings, piss running down her stretch-marked thighs.'

After his 'welcome' we are presented with a couple of young kids who've just crashed their bikes into each other. Michael is black with no dad, just a cash-strapped mom, while Daniel is white from a rather better-off household, though his dad beats him up. They've both got Raleighs, the bikes made in Nottingham, though Danny's is very much smarter and he lets Michael ride it. Soon they are planning to meet and exchange tapes of their favourite music and the next time we see them Michael is introducing Danny to glue sniffing - wel,l actually Old Spice after-shave. They loath the smell but it still gives them a high.

Succeeding scenes give us glimpses of their lives as they pass through their school years, along with the other members of their 'posse'. Stone, a little older and full of frustrations and bravado, is the heaviest drinker, and soon carries a knife and later a gun. Much more grounded is Shelley, a girl who gets very close to Danny and vainly tries to keep the boys on the straight and narrow.

These kids aren't all stupid and it is not all gloom. There is a delightful school scene, with the Swinging Man leaning in as though he's the teacher, with Danny and Shelley carrying on their own conversation between a more obviously audible dialogue of accurate though ill-accented French. Later Danny and Michael lie back on the grass expressing hopes as well as frustrations and talk about love, even their love for each other, marriage and children.

Director Laura Farnworth has welded her company together, drawing well integrated performances from her players who, though visibly older, all manager to capture the youth of these characters.

Dimeji Sadiq, making his professional debut, is forceful as Michael. Annishia Lunette is also a relative newcomer, not long out of RADA; as Shelley she gives a girl visible growing up with more assurance than the boys. Kent Riley (at 13 already in the West End as the Artful Dodger and with six years behind him in Hollyoaks) plays all the unpleasant side of Stone yet at the same time suggests the vulnerability under his bullying. Stone so longs to be the tough guy and he has to handle a very difficult scene in which he imagines himself like Robocop being riddled with bullets and still not succumbing. That manages to turn horror into pathos. As Danny, Jarrod Cooke, whose television credits seem to include roles in most of the soaps, gives us someone who changes according to which of his friends is currently exerting most influence. It is a subtle performance that is central to the play.

There are times when you feel these teenagers are people you would cross to the other side of the road to avoid but Daniel Hoffman-Gill's play makes you share experience, one with which many will be able to identify and one which, though set twenty years ago, could find many parallels in Britain today. Our Style Is Legendary is not a play that offers either reasons or solutions but a sharing. Though the Swinging Man chorus is very much a theatrical device, the play rings true, perhaps partly because it is directly based on his own experience for it is dedicated to Michael, his best friend who died of an overdose when he was only 16 and the characters' names are the same as those of the real people.

Runs until 2nd April 2011

REVIEW Our Style is Legendary

2011-03-16T15:52:00.002Z

THE STAGE

Our Style is Legendary
Published Tuesday 15 March 2011 at 11:04 by Lauren Paxman

Plays about substance abuse are not meant to evoke fond memories of your teenage years. But that is just one of the ways in which Daniel Hoffmann-Gill’s witty dark comedy surprises and delights.

Jarrod Cooke (Danny) Dimeji Sadiq (Michael) in Our Style is Legendary at the Tristan Bates Theatre

Photo: Rich White

We first meet Danny and Michael as well-behaved Nottingham 13-year-olds bonding over eighties hip hop. A couple of scenes (and some Old Spice deodorant-sniffing) later, the best buddies are experimenting with hard drugs - but on the doorstep of A&E in case they accidentally overdose.
The duo’s story is interspersed with that of the Frank Gallagher-esque Swinging Man - so called because the special brew-lover’s feet “never touch the ground”. His is a cautionary tale of violence and alcoholism that, along with the flowers tied to a lamp post, warn the audience what could become of the endearingly believable protagonists.
Hoffman-Gill’s brilliantly-observed script is frequently laugh-out-loud funny, Laura Farnworth’s detailed direction ensures all actors’ performances are stellar - with Hollyoaks’ Kent Riley as ‘glue dealer’ Stone and Emmerdale’s James Hooton as Swinging Man shining extra bright - and Rich White’s first set packs a lot into a small space.
If the ending seems a little abrupt, a quick read of your programme - which tells you that the true story is dedicated to someone called Michael - reveals the tale’s real happy ending.

Bury Met

2011-03-02T07:49:00.001Z

Well, here I am again trying to get the people - you, to leave the safety of your cave and come and play out. You used to love coming out to play, what happened?

I know there are baby sitter issues and Jamie Oliver's on tonight, but think about the fun you'll have laughing at my S**T career (If the Sun and the Mirror can swear like this, I can swear like this).

When Will I Be Famous
7.30pm Bury Met

Here's what "the people" have said

"Best Monday night I've had in years, really funny and moving" Sharon Brighton
"Absolutely Wonderful" Phylm London
"one of the best performances we've witnessed in a long while" Dave B London
"Please keep on writing - superb evening - real entertainment. Matlock.
"Absolutely brilliant and extremely funny" Danny Loughorough
"Extremely funny! Had me crying in places. Keep up the good work. Will definatly come to the next performance" Kate Nottingham
"Absolutely great! script, acting, everything!" Loughborough
"Very enjoyable and witty! very good morals too." Marie Edinburgh
"Really made me think" Excellent." Kim Edinburgh

A taste of Fame

2011-02-08T15:54:00.000Z

Go to Google or any search engine and look for “reformed burglar”. I (Mark Whiteley) am top, or very close to the top with an interview with John Peel on Home Truths. This is a made up story to get publicity for a play I took to Edinburgh. For the past 10 years I have tried everything to get noticed and frankly I’ve had enough. So this year I’m touring the country telling the truth about my fame, or my lack of it.
In my quest for fame I have:

1. Lied to John Peel about being a burglar and subsequently took £14,000 from The Prudential Insurance giving tips to the public about home security.
2. I lied to various News programmes on numerous occasions to give my views about being a reformed burglar, theft and how the Home Secretary should deal with crime.
3. I walked across the country, coast to coast with no money, accommodation or food. Performing each evening to survive.
4. I emigrated to Poland to reverse the immigration trend of a few years ago and appeared on there equivalent of This Morning.
5. I sold the first performance of a play on eBay.
6. I lived in a tent on Hampstead Heath for three months whilst at Drama School.
7. I performed in a porn film. (although perform is probably not the word my co-star would use)
I’ve had enough. I’m packing it in, but before I do I’m giving it one last shot. My final show is called When Will I be Famous, a look at all the time I’ve wasted in my live trying to get noticed. And because it’s my final shot I’ve pushed the boat out to give my audiences a real taste of celebrity I’ve managed to talk Amanda Holden and Pier Morgan to appear in the show.

February
23rd Derby Assembly Rooms

March
2nd Bury Met
17th Sefton Arts
25th Brewery Arts

April
6th Rotherham Arts
7th Barnsley
8th Guildford Yvonne Arnaud
23rd Drill Hall Lincoln
29th - 30th Lantern Sheffield

May
6th Queens Park Arts
13th Lakeside Nottingham
14th Venue Cymru
21st - 22nd Lowry Salford
26th - Square Chapel Halifax

June
3rd Stafford Gatehouse
9th The Plough

To all retards out there

2011-01-05T07:06:00.003Z

Just in case you've never seen my work or experienced my publicity I'd like to put things straight. After requests from 'people' i'd like to make this short but loud announcement.

AMANDA HOLDEN OR PIERS MORGAN WILL NOT BE APPEARING IN WHEN WILL I BE FAMOUS! I AM USING THEIR NAMES TO SELL MORE TICKETS, AS FAME, AS WE ALL KNOW, SELLS BETTER THAN A FAT BLOKE FROM NOTTINGHAM.

When every star raisers (is that how you spell raisers?) they are usually driven forward by something or someone bigger than themselves. Morecombe and Wise with the BBC, Abi Titmus and John Leslie, most reality show contestants and the red top media, its how people get on in this job, support acts become stars, eventually.

Lots of people in television and film would be no where without a little help from friends.

So, and this is where it gets boring, I thought I'd use Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan (as they have presented 'Britain's Got Talent' and my show was about a similar subject) and turn it on its head to entertain people. Amanda and Piers very kindly offered to film a little piece to camera for me to use in my show (hence why she is in my show, ) but it has caused some confusion with some retards somewhere.

so for the record, finally,

AMANDA HOLDEN OR PIERS MORGAN WILL NOT BE APPEARING IN WHEN WILL I BE FAMOUS!

Mark Whiteley however will be there and I'm very good!

Audience Reviews For Red Riding Hood

2010-12-22T16:27:00.002Z

These are a few of the things our audience are saying about this years Saddleworth Christmas Show Red Riding Hood. If you're looking for something to do this Christmas with your 3 - 7 year olds this is where to come.

'Loved red riding hood and didn't like the big bad wolf, he had scary ears!' Faith and Great Grandma

'My favourite bit was when the wolf was the grandma and when I made the cakes!' - Yasmin.

Great show. Just right for our pre-school children. They really enjoyed it. Thank you' - See Saw preschool, Grotton

‎'Absolutely fantastic - really worked hard. Fab touch bringing Santa out. See you next year' - Emma

Red Riding Hood 2010

2010-12-20T18:30:00.001Z

Local News from Saddleworth News our story about Red Riding Hood is about 6 minutes in, I'm the fat bloke - enjoy

photo's of red riding hood

2010-12-07T21:44:00.002Z

Great photo's from Red Riding Hood this years Christmas show at the civic hall Uppermill.

record sales

2010-12-05T18:08:00.004Z

I'm really pleased to tell you that we've already passed last years total of 1,200 ticket sales. We are in our third year and with the hard work of all our team - Judith Barker, Adele Parry and Claire Leaver we have gone from strength to strength.

But we don't want to rest on our laurels, we still have thousands of seats to sell for parents and grand parents looking for something to do over the Christmas period. Tickets available from our box office 0161 6242829 or online

Tuesday 7th 10.30am 1.30pm
~~Wednesday 8th SOLD OUT~~
Thursday 9th No Shows 1.30pm
Friday 10th 10.30am 1.30pm
Saturday 11th 10.30am 1.30pm
~~Sunday 12th SOLD OUT~~
Monday 13th 10.30am 1.30pm
Tuesday 14th 10.30am 1.30pm
~~Wednesday 15th No Shows~~
Thursday 16th 10.30am 1.30pm
Friday 17th 10.30am 1.30pm
~~Saturday 18th SOLD OUT~~
Sunday 19th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Monday 20th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Tuesday 21st 1.30pm 4.00pm
~~Wednesday 22nd No Shows~~
Thursday 23rd 1.30pm 4.00pm
Friday 24th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Saturday 25th No Shows
Sunday 26th No Shows
Monday 27th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Tuesday 28th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Wednesday 29th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Thursday 30th 1.30pm 4.00pm
Friday 31st 1.30pm 4.00pm

record sales

2010-12-05T18:08:00.003Z

I wrote a poem

2010-12-04T21:08:00.002Z

snow no.
go snow.

I've called it winter wonderland and I think its amazing. It goes hand in hand with my earlier work Rain Pain.

I went to build the set today for Red Riding Hood our latest Christmas show in Uppermill Saddleworth. I think and I know I biased that it will be the best ever.

22 in the snow

2010-11-27T14:59:00.002Z

First night of the new tour and I met some lovely people in Louth. three great volunteers for Curly Wurly (my new television game show) and a load of fun.

I took this photo just to prove I can entertain a audience, all be it small.

2010-11-22T17:56:00.002Z

The Riverhead Louth Lincolnshire on Thursday with my new show and I'm crapping it! All alone, new material, new gags, great story and one hell of a surprise for big wig in television world!

Red Riding Hood started rehearsing today. in two weeks our third Oldham and Saddleworth Christmas show will be under way, with over 1200 tickets already sold this is going to be the biggest and best one ever.

see you there.

Amanda

2010-11-11T08:27:00.003Z

Our friend Amanda Holden is in Oldham town today. She's opening a couple of things in the North West. She's been a patron of Hard Graft for a few years now and is very supportive of our work.

Review

2010-11-08T09:19:00.002Z

Our friends at Diggle School have sent a lovely email and I thought I'd share it with you.

"Hard Graft's Christmas shows have become an eagerly anticipated highlight of our Christmas activities at pre-school. The children are able to experience first hand the joy of theatre and are always delighted and captivated by the innovative re-telling of traditional stories."

Andrea Brearley, Manager of Ofsted Outstanding Diggle Dandelions Pre-school

Thank you

Oldham Panto

2010-11-07T14:27:00.002Z

Well, we've been really busy this week with loads of meetings for our third Oldham Panto. Judith and I have been sorting out all the music (which is going to be great!).

Alec our assistant Producer has been marketing mad. 500 posters to go up all over Oldham and Saddleworth.

And to top it off I've started rehearsing my Famous show.

Got to go and make some trees!

see you later

Live Shows

2010-10-28T09:24:00.003+01:00

Just to let you cats know, these are my live gigs for the next 6 months.

November 2010

25th Riverhead Louth

January 2011 15th The Gate Goole

March 2nd Bury Met

17th Sefton Arts

25th Brewary Arts

April 6th Rotherham Arts

7th Barnsley

8th Guildford Yvonne Arnaud

23rd Drill Hall Lincoln

29th - 30th Lantern Sheffield

May 6trh Queens Park Arts

21st - 22nd Lowry Salford

June 3rd Stafford Gatehouse

9th The Plough

It’s Full Circle for Sam

2010-10-20T13:40:00.004+01:00

It’s Full Circle for Sam

Unlike some, Sam Connolly did not grow up with a passion for the theatre, rather, like most Oldham schoolboys it was football that truly inspired him and his allegiance to Manchester City that dominated his weekends. He was also hyperactive and attention seeking, qualities which did not exactly endear Sam to his schoolteachers, indeed he freely admits to being “a bit of a rogue at school”. It was these qualities however, that led Sam’s mother to force him, at the age of 14, to attend Jude’s Drama school, a weekly class taught by noted actress Judith Barker; a woman who would change Sam’s life forever.

Things got off to a rocky start however with Sam still reluctant to embrace the theatrical world; “I saw 12 girls standing outside and thought I really don’t want to do this” and frequently led to him hovering outside and arriving up to 20 minutes late. This lack of focus caused initial friction between teacher and student as Judith recalls, “well, it wasn’t a great start and we did have a couple of blazing rows as he wasn’t aware of the discipline required”. Despite this the footy-mad teenager soon fell in love with acting, he now describes his first class as “the best experience of my life” and notes he quickly began looking forward to the weekend class as “I had a chance to express myself in a way you don’t usually get”. Talking to Sam it is clear that this notion of escapism fuels his passion for the theatre, he describes these early classes as an opportunity to “just let loose and be whoever you want to be”, an entrancing opportunity.

Equally evident during our chat is the strong bond between Sam and Judith, Sam asserts that “Judith was the first one to believe in me and the only one able to control be” and says that ultimately, “she made me realise that acting was what I wanted to do”. For her part Judith recognised Sam’s potential early, “ I always loved him and always thought he had an extraordinary quality” and nurtured his blossoming love of the stage, she has been his mentor ever since.

Old habits die hard however, and it was Sam’s passion for football that threatened to wreck this developing relationship. In the summer of 2006 preparations were well under way for Jude’s Drama’s bi-annual showcase and a rehearsal was set for Saturday 1^st July 2006. The problem? This was also the date of England’s hotly anticipated quarterfinal with Portugal, a game no England fan wanted to miss. When Sam turned up to the rehearsal and immediately announced he was leaving early in order to watch the game, a blazing row quickly ensued, one which led to Sam storming off and Judith throwing him out. Sam soon realised he’d made a huge mistake and, apologies made, he was soon back and as passionate as ever.

By the age of 18, after four years in the class, drama school beckoned and so Sam was among the 2,500 hopefuls gunning for just 30 places at the prestigious Mountview Academy of Theatre Arts. Incredibly Sam got in first time and was soon on his way to London for three years that he describes as “the best three years of my life”. Despite a gruelling 9 to 6 schedule, “I’ve never laughed so much in my life, it was hard work but also good fun”.

After an unusual experience performing Macbeth to London schoolchildren (preparing to have his throat cut by Lady Macbeth, he was startled to hear shouts of “She’s behind you) Sam got the opportunity to perform on the stage of the Criterion theatre in London’s glittering West End, an experience that crystallised his acting ambitions, “that showed me where I wanted to be in life, it gave me a goal”.

Now fresh out of drama school Sam attended audition after audition but was left empty handed and occasionally feeling like he’d “tried a little bit too hard”. Then an opportunity arose to audition for the role of the Wolf in Hard Graft Theatre Company’s production of Red Riding Hood, for Sam it would mean performing in Uppermill, within spitting distance of his home town, more importantly it also offered the chance of a reunion with Judith and the rekindling of a relationship that had been kept alive via constant phone calls during Sam’s drama school tenure. For Sam it was the role of a lifetime but the competition would be stiff, Sam would audition along with six professional actors, each with years of experience.

A nerve-wracking overnight wait followed his audition and then came a phone call the next morning. It was Judith, and the role was his, Sam was delighted “I was smiling for a good two hours afterwards” and his dream had come true, he was now a professional actor.

Despite having just landed his first role Sam has big ambitions, as well as wanting to act in the West End Sam’s passion for theatre is such that ultimately “I’d like to get theatre as big as TV”. Whatever happens next the future certainly looks bright for Sam, the classic story of the local boy done good.

Sam Connolly will be appearing in Red Riding Hood at the Uppermill Civic Hall throughout December, for tickets or more information call 0161 624 2829 or go to hardgraft.co.uk

By Alec Hawley

Red Start

2010-10-20T13:32:00.002+01:00

We've sold 750 tickets already for Red Riding Hood, the majority on Christmas week. Santa will be busy in Uppermill this year won't he?

TIMBER!

2010-10-14T09:03:00.003+01:00

I never thought it would be that difficult to get a tree for a stage set. I want to do a classic Red Riding Hood set with trees and countryside and, and nothing. No one has a tree. in the whole of the English speaking world of the north west no one has a tree. So I'm making a couple in my kitchen. The Civic Hall Uppermill will have a tree, made out of the middle of a carpet and a load of papier mache.

Writing and art

2010-10-08T14:13:00.002+01:00

I have finished the first draft of the script for When Will I be Famous and I'm a lot less stressed. Over the last couple of years I've started writing more and more from my heart, to lay myself bare, this script is me in my underpants, this is the way I want to go today.

I want to pack art in. there I said it, I want to show it two fingers and walk away and be a....whatever you be when you're not being me. I want to walk away for dramatic effect, but no one would care would they?

So I'm stopping here, just to piss everyone off.

But I need help............

Cast

2010-10-04T17:44:00.002+01:00

It is a hard job casting. You meet loads of really nice, talented actors - just like you, then you have to choose only one. We have, of cause cast Claire Lever as Red, she's been in all three shows now and is a brilliant professional to have on the team.

Last week we saw 5 boys, all lovely actors with great voices - but there can be only one.

And our one this year playing the Wolf is..............

Sam Connolly.

thick as thieves

2010-10-03T12:24:00.002+01:00

Brilliant! I'm really proud of the work all at Reform theatre company have put into thick as thieves and I urge you all to hunt it out and go watch it. It's touring till November at a theatre near you. please let me know what you think.

Tour Schedule for Thick As Thieves

2010-09-26T09:22:00.004+01:00

September

27^th Courtyard Theatre, Hereford

28^th - 30^th Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate

October

1^st- 2^nd Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate

4^th Stowe School, Stowe

5^th- 8^th Entertainment Centre, Llanelli

9^th Town Hall, Selby

11^th Little Theatre, Doncaster

12^th South Hill Park, Bracknell

14th Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford

16^th Village Hall, Tickton

18^th The Academy, Barnsley

19^th Roses Theatre, Ormskirk

20^th Palace Theatre, Newark

21^st The Met, Bury

22^nd Pavillion Theatre, Whitby

26^th The Theatre, Middlesbrough

27^th Arts Centre, Rotherham

28^th Arts Centre Helmsley

29^th Civic Theatre, Chelmsford

30^th The Arc, Trowbridge

November

1^st Town Hall, Bishop Auckland

2^nd Gatehouse Theatre, Stafford

3^rd The Castle, Wellingborough

11^th Square Chapel, Halifax

12^th The Junction, Goole

13^th Victoria Hall, Settle

17^th The Rondo, Bath

18^th Tapton School, Sheffield

20^th - 21^st Lantern Theatre Sheffield

23^rd Guildhall Theatre, Derby

24^th The Artrix, Bromsgrove

25^th Queens Hall Hexham

26^th -27^th Pomegranate Theatre Chesterfield

Fame Game

2010-09-13T13:18:00.002+01:00

As you may know Thick As Thieves is about to tour the country later this month with Reform Theatre Company. I've written a brand new version for them and I think its going to be very good. To mark it, I found this memory from Dan and I.

100 Free Theatre Tickets For Kids!

2010-09-09T11:10:00.002+01:00

Hard graft Theatre Company are looking for Child Organisations, playgroups, schools or nurseries to give away 100 free tickets for their classic Christmas cracker RED RIDING HOOD.

Hard Graft are now in their third year of producing Christmas shows at the Civic Hall Uppermill and after last years sell out success with the Elves and the Shoemaker we have taken the step of trebling the capacity to meet the demand. There are hundreds of young children in Greater Manchester that will never be able to see Theatre because of the cost, if we can get a hundred through ours doors for nothing then we will be very happy company.

Red Riding Hood is aimed specifically at the under eight's, with songs, dance and a lot of Christmas Magic this is a show designed to keep little minds occupied for the whole performance. Directed by Oldham legend Judith Barker with choreography by Adele Parry.

To apply for Red Riding Hood free tickets complete the form HERE

Good Luck!

Boat Song

2010-08-16T23:14:00.004+01:00

I'm having a ball writing my new show. I'm writing about fame, my fame. I'm telling the story of my career thus far, lows and lows. The best thing so far is the single I'm going to release. yes, I'm releasing a song. Me and Jon Mee wrote and recorded a song in 1994, to protect the copyright we posted it to ourselves and never opened it. As I write there is an unopened envelope upstairs waiting to be unleashed on the world of pop. the last time I heard this song was when I performed it live of BBC radio Nottingham, during a talent contest. we got battered by a load of old people. The opening and first listen to the song will happen live of stage in Louth of all places.

bbc News 24

2010-08-05T18:17:00.003+01:00

Last night I was called, again to give my opinion on a burglar. News 24 wanted to know what I thought about Bradley Wernham a 19 burglar who robbed 660 people down south. If you don't already know I was a convicted burglar in the 1980's, reeking havoc on the good people of Nottingham. Don't take my word for it, write "reformed burglar" in Google and see what it comes up with.

Red Riding Hood

2010-08-04T08:22:00.003+01:00

Can I mention, if I already haven't, that Hard Graft Theatre will be producing our third piece of children's theatre in Saddleworth this Christmas. Because it's our third, we have already done Babushka and the Elves and the Shoemaker, we felt that we had to pick up our game and make it our best show ever. This year then, we have moved into a 200 seat venue at the Civic Hall and added another two weeks. It opens on the 7th December and runs until 31st December with two shows most days. Downstairs in my cellar is a six foot wolf, scary, but not too scary, and three foot dragon, called Davis.

Tickets have been on sale for two months at the Oldham Coliseum Box Office and I want to double last years audience and offer the young people of Greater Manchester a real alternative to Panto.

for what's on in Saddleworth, Oldham and Greater Manchester from Hard Graft Theatre Co. why not join our communication lists - Twitter (there's a link to your right) or send an email from the website.

See you soon

Camp Amanda

2010-08-02T11:43:00.003+01:00

My wife Jess with Amanda Holden with knickers on their heads. Jess has worked with Amanda many times down the years, this was the pair enjoying a weekend away at a posh camp site.

2010-07-31T16:30:00.002+01:00

Scottish Tony phoned last night to see if I wanted any work, he's picking me up at 7. I don't mind Tony but he has 2 annoying faults:

1. He's Scottish. Don't get me wrong I'm not a racist, I love most races of people (except American's) Tony believes England is crap and not a patch on Scotland. He says the English are thick and rude and that Scotland and the Scots are a far better quality product. Thing is he has lived in England for 18 years - If you hate it that much Tony, go home.

2. He's a football fan. Still not a major problem I am a life long supporter of Nottingham Forest. But Tony is a Rangers fan; I neither know nor care anything for Scottish football its rubbish. All I know about Scottish football is that Forest bought Pierre Van Hoojjdonk from Celtic who single handedly got us relegated from the premiership after he went on strike.

Everyone's a winner baby

2010-07-17T10:11:00.003+01:00

Can't believe how lucky I was today. As we got back from the shops this morning we were listening, as always to the local Millennium 106.5 FM radio. Every Saturday they have started this new competition and I've been tuning in.

Anyway, the quiz goes like this:

1. They open the phone lines and ask a simple question, this is to get everyone to ring and to get 2 contestants for the main quiz.

2. If you get through on the phone the DJ (Peppy Coulson) takes caller after caller "on air" till he gets a winning answer.

3. You answer the question and then and only then do you win the right to play for the big prize, in the big game called "FATAL FINAL".

4. 60 seconds of general knowledge questions to the 2 final contestants.

5. The most correct answers secure a place in "THE YES/NO GAME".

6. You face Peppy Coulson head to head in this classic game;

The prizes are as follows:

· if you do 10 seconds or less you get a CD (this week was Elton John's greatest hits)

· 11-20 seconds is a CD and a Millennium 104 goody bag

· 21-29 seconds 2 mugs and a limited edition "I ♥ 104 FM" sweat shirt

· Over 30 seconds and it's the star prize of £50 gift voucher for Mona Lisa's the poshest Italian restaurant in Oldham town, which isn't hard.

As I was saying this was a lucky day, the first question asked was which ex-DJ was attacked by a crazed fan in Nottingham earlier this year?

I'm sure no-one rings this bloke, because I didn't phone until half way through the second song and it only rang once before it was answered by Peppy himself, they can't have many people working for the show. "Dale Winton" I said and he played this tape of a bloke shouting "YOU ARE A WINNER!" and I knew then that I was through to the next stage.

What they did next was quite good. To save your phone bill they ring you back straight away and you and the other contestant chat and have a laugh with Peppy. He asked me what I did for a living and I lied and told him I was the Managing Director of a local security firm. He asked me what the company was called and laughed when I told him that I couldn't tell him for security reasons.

The other bloke was a teacher from Bacup (tramp) and was trying to win the star prize for his wedding anniversary but Peppy took the piss and said he should put his hand in his pocket if he really loved his wife.

I won the toss and he went first answering 7 correct. I had the harder questions but somehow managed to equal the teacher. Peppy said he couldn't believe it, it's the first time 2 people had tied on 7 points a piece, although to be right the quiz has only been going 3 weeks.

The tiebreaker question was a sudden death "whoever answers the question first " and they put this sound effect on of a drum roll. Its supposed to make it scarier but to be honest it didn't bother me. The question was unbelievable it was "Name the county also known as the English Rivera"? "Cornwall! Its Cornwall!" And that was me through to the "Yes/No Game".

The first and last time I played the game was at school, a teacher there used to do it if he'd given you lines. For example, let's say you were given 4 sides of lines to do, you could play the yes no game and if you won he'd wipe the slate clean, but if you lost your 4 sides would become 8.

Peppy thought he was the master of the game but he hadn't crossed me yet. All I said was "I might be", or "it could be" or "don't know" and I smashed him out the water. He got dead mardy at the end and said I was lucky "yes I'm lucky Peppy, or maybe you're crap!"

Jess wasn't that impressed, you would have thought that having a games master as a husband would have influenced her in the love making department but no, a peck on the cheek was the best I got.

Bookings

2010-07-06T12:40:00.002+01:00

I am really busy booking gigs for my new show. booked Guildford, Lowry, Brewhouse in Kendal, The Met Bury to name but a few.

question - how do you measure fame?

I need to know.

Maybe I need one of those Mary Poppins tape measures.

Clear the air

2010-06-22T20:12:00.002+01:00

I'm selling two shows at the moment, do you want to buy? Red riding Hood - about a girl(young) who only wears a hood that is red. When will I be Famous - the story of me trying to become famous. I love a simple title don't you?

I want to have clear the air talks with someone - email me hardgraft@gmail.com

Off to Glastonbury festival on Thursday with Matt Aston in a van that is a camper.

I wanna be... from Andonis Anthony on Vimeo.

Bon Jour

2010-06-12T07:03:00.003+01:00

Is that how you spell Bon Jour? any way who cares. I've been on my travels to France (its a large country south of Folkstone, likes cheese and wine). All I know on this blog is that you should never bring back stray dogs from abroad, but more the stray dog later.

I think you should see this its a friend of mine, Rebecca Mahon who is a lovely writer/performer. Her latest offering is at this years 24:7 festival in Manchester.

Post the evening post

2010-05-26T11:13:00.001+01:00

from today's Nottingham Evening Post

U2 can have the day off.

2010-05-25T16:16:00.004+01:00

I've just had Bono on the phone moaning about his back. I was a bit bored if I'm honest, people talking about their ailments, puts you right off. Did I pull out of Panto when I hurt my back, did I cancel Poles Apart because I was deaf and couldn't hear my cues from Dan, did I stop the audience from seeing me in agony every evening when we walked across the country? NO! Get a grip and rip up your sick note Bono.

I've got a bucket handled tear on my knee but I'll still be at Nottingham Lakeside on Thursday.

Come on England!

2010-05-25T11:58:00.003+01:00

I can see it now, all the doom mongers droning on how bad we (England) are at football. "He's rubbish" they'll say, "Can't pass, can't shoot," You know the rest. I don't care I think we are going to win, I always think we're going to win. This time though, the stars have aligned, spirits have come together and our country will speak as one to answer critics and hold aloft the cup. Or will I just get my heart broken again?

This is our time, our competition, our cup.

I do worry about the grass though, its not the right kind.....

A bloke over the road.

2010-05-22T22:37:00.003+01:00

I saw a man over the road yesterday just sitting on the steps opposite our house. i was working and as I came down for a cup of tea he was sat there, sitting. I watched a while then went over to him. he was shaking, really trembling, there was a pile of sick in front of him.

"Can I help"?

"No" He said.

"Are you sure?" He looked really rough.

"I'm all right" He said.

I left him, alone to continue my watch from the house. He dragged himself down on his arse to the bottom of the steps and was gone. There's no help.

All life passers this way if you're patient.

Jobs for actors

2010-05-20T13:32:00.002+01:00

I've just left actor David Crowley cleaning carpets at my mother in laws house and it got me thinking about the type of jobs actors do whilst waiting. in the past I've done numerous jobs, debt collector, Polish Immigrant and anal refuge collector.

Somebody somewhere should set up a web site listing actor's other jobs and business's go we can keep our colleagues alive during this recession. like www.whenigrowup.co.uk sort of thing, maybe the union, equity could run it or another out of work actor like YOU who needs a job to bide them over.

We're off to Smethwick this afternoon.

Birthday

2010-05-20T10:53:00.001+01:00

What a happy birthday http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgOyTNtsWyY

eddie stobart

2010-05-18T23:18:00.004+01:00

How do you pass the time driving the thousands of miles from venue to venue? Y
ou play spot the Eddie Stobart. It's very simple every time you see an Eddie Stobart lorry you say 'Eddie, Eddie Stobart' this gives you 10 points. If you spot a Knights of Olde you win hands down.

scores so far Howard 200, Jill 46, Nick 23, Mark 12, John 0

An email this morning

2010-05-16T12:17:00.003+01:00

We were in Derby this week performing to an audience of 7.

but, one of the seven sent this....

Dear Mark,

Please could you pass on our very grateful thanks to Nicky, John, Howard and Jill?

We THOROUGHLY enjoyed Knife Edge.

It was a very powerful piece of theatre, up to date theme, clever plot and totally believable characters.

It made me cry.

It really brings it all home - the futility of knife crime, the unimaginable...

Labour

2010-05-16T12:09:00.001+01:00

We've heard from Ed and David Miliband - what about the other two brothers Steve and Glen?

Tweet Tweet

2010-05-16T11:52:00.002+01:00

Morning.

Wow, aren't you lot lucky? You can now follow HG on Twitter. We're the theatre company that just keeps on giving....

Review

2010-05-07T17:31:00.002+01:00

Knife Edge by Mark Whiteley

Hard Graft Theatre Company,

The Maltings Theatre,

6 May 2010

Knife Edge by Mark Whiteley is a thought-provoking piece of theatre. Brian Shelton, sensitively played by Howard Chadwick, is “just a normal bloke” whose son was stabbed to death months earlier. He believes he knows who did it, and has challenged him to a “duel to the death”.

The audience is almost literally involved, addressed by the cast as attendees of the community meeting he has organised, and at which Brian hopes to flush out the killer.Whiteley’s play is an interesting study of a family beset by grief, guilt, and in particular anger. Brian rails against the local community (“solidarity and all that”), the press, the police, and the ‘killer’, but is also racked with guilt, and apparently unable to communicate with his wife and daughter.

John Elkington excels as the be-cardiganed, local reporter, whose job is to be impartial, to “sit and watch”. He is reluctantly drawn into the centre of the action – his bloody nose literal as well as metaphorical. Whiteley subtly asks questions about the role of the press – at best campaigning, in this instance on knife crime, but at worst happy to betray principles and become a player in the action in order to get an exclusive.Adam Sunderland’s direction is strong – the play is taut, well-paced, and laced with beautifully judged moments of black comedy. But it is the rawness of his wife Jane’s (Jill Myers) hurt, anger and anxiety, and Brian’s dramatic confrontation with the initially cocky young ‘lieutenant’, Danny, a role in which Nicky Bell is all too believable, that become the central drivers of the play.Fittingly for a play with such dark themes, the dram is bookended by music from the man in black, Johnny Cash. Knife Edge packs a powerful, compelling, angry and emotional punch.

Verdict: King of Herts (4 out of 5)

a bit

2010-05-04T21:06:00.002+01:00

If music be the food of love play on.

Sorry, we're a theatre company, you need a bit of culture now and again.

Week three Knife Edge

2010-05-02T15:22:00.005+01:00

Knife Edge moved east and south this week. First stop Spalding a smallish market town in Lincolnshire. I think it's a very conservative area so I was wondering how we'd do. We sold 60 seats with many young people in the audience and I thought it went down rather well. I always find it hard to be selling 60 minutes to venues that you feel want 2 hours and an interval before they think they've had value for money, I used to think that a show had to at least have an interval to make it worthy, but no more. I think I've sit and watched far too many padded out shows that all would benefit in a cut or two.

After Spalding we left for that there London! Where everyone looks sad, wear weird fashions and for the most part are skint. In London everyone smokes marlboro Lights cigarettes and Camels, In London they pay 20 pence for a penny chew In London there are approx 13 Million people, but we could only manage to entice 21. Which is not very good. I traveled 400 miles, that's 19 miles per person.

Next week we're having a visit from one of our patron.

Hard Graft Theatre Company are performing at Civic Hall Uppermill (box office 0161 624 2829 ) , St. Albans Maltings and Newark Palace Nottinghamshire

Also you may like to hear this Mark Whiteley on BBC Radio Nottingham http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/p007gm65

until next time

Marathon Man

2010-04-26T14:06:00.004+01:00

I don't want to take it away from all those people who ran the London marathon yesterday, but Dan Hoffmann- Gill and I did 26 miles a day for 16 days Coast to Coast and performed our show every night. We also had no money, food or accommodation.

It must be very hard turning up to an organised event with food, water and first aid laid on.

I do know that I could not run 26 miles and nor would I want to.

bbc news story

What's Been Said....

2010-04-23T19:37:00.004+01:00

I've found some quotes online about Knife Edge and I thought you might like to read them.

"Howard Chadwick as Brian balances the father and the avenger beautifully;" What's On Stage

What the Audiences have to say

"Plays like these come along rarely and should be given the literary respect they deserve." Lynsey

"This play is like an onion with many layers"

"Certainly makes you consider what you would do if you were a member of the public invited to the duel. In any event, go and see it and make your own minds up" Alan Bennetts Glasses Case

perils of touring

2010-04-23T12:21:00.002+01:00

Touring theatre is tough. Last night I got home at 5.30 am after we were stuck behind a lorry fire on the M5. This would be fine if I didn't have a 14month and 5yr old getting up at 6.30.

The play is however growing and gathering momentum. Other theatre's that we aren't touring to this time have started calling me asking about availability. This makes me happy, but it doesn't pay the wages.

And for all you with a sense of humor here comes that story again here enjoy!

I'm going to do a show one day about my life of crime LOL!

see you soon

mark

Feedback from Lowry

2010-04-19T14:08:00.006+01:00

"Well done."

"Great Mark, can you let me know what you're doing next?"
"Brilliant, I wanted to see more..."
"That was great..."

"Here, take this £50,000 in cash and write me something else, anything, I think you're amazing and you're handsome to boot." (I made this one up)
These were just a few comments I received after last night's 'triumph' (Am I allowed to say that about my work?)
It was though, bloody marvelous cast, bloody marvelous direction, I urged you to see it.
Oh, and we'd sold out!

When people stand for your work, I think you know you've done alright.

see you sooner

mark x

knife edge the play

2010-04-18T19:20:00.001+01:00

Law is the law

2010-04-14T14:07:00.004+01:00

Just had a really curt email from Peter Halls people. I don't want to go into it because of legal reasons, but I'm sorry. I hope that satisfies you.

Technical rehearsal tomorrow. Nicky Bell has a sprained ankle. Never easy is it?

2010-04-10T13:46:00.002+01:00

I've just had Sir Peter Hall on the phone asking for comps for Friday night's performance of Knife Edge. cheek of it! he must be on at least £10 an hour, one ticket costs £10 that's one hours work. Of course then I feel bad because he's a Lord and all that.
He's heard about it at a dinner party held by Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

I hope Sir Peter doesn't go on the internet....

I think though at his age you might even get a concession, I'll send him a telegram.

On a day like this.

2010-04-07T20:03:00.003+01:00

I spent the day collecting props and sitting in rehearsals, watching Adam Sunderland direct John Elkington, Howard Chadwick and Jill Myers and wasn't it exciting? It's a nerve wracking time auditioning for a play. to know that we did a good job is fantastic. this cast is top shelf and I mean up their with Razzle and Hustler.

We also had another fantastic lift today, our great friend Warren Clarke popped in to with us luck. We auditioned Warren for the part of Brian, but we felt he wasn't completely right for it.

We start work in the Lowry tomorrow.

STREEESSSSSS

2010-04-06T19:11:00.002+01:00

What do get if you cross 4 actors, a director, 2 children under 5 and a dog called Kit?

Stress.

It is very stressful running the theatre company that is hard graft at the moment. And then to top it all I owe the tax man money that needs to paid ASAP.

On a brighter note the sun is shining and our play is going to knock them dead.

see you next week at the Lowry, Salford.

Top of the world ma, top of the world.

2010-03-22T13:29:00.005Z

You see, be patient and things will happen.

I am pleased to announce Howard Chadwick will be playing Brian in our new, brand spanking show Knife Edge.

See you in April at the Lowry....

2010-03-16T15:49:00.002Z

As promised, here are names of the cast for Knife Edge thus far. We are still negotiating for the part of Brian so I'll keep you in the loop later this week - hopefully.

John Elkington plays Alan. John is a class act, he's just finished a four month stint at the Nottingham Playhouse and I know we are very lucky to have him. As are we to secure the services of Jill Myers. Jill will play Jane (I tell you characters name forgetting that its never been seen yet and most of you don't know who I'm talking about). In the role of Danny is Nicky Bell a very talented young man with a lot to do. I know from all the theatre's I've spoken to that pre-sales are very good, so pull your finger out and buy a seat, you're going to find it very, very frightening.

Knife Edge

2010-03-08T13:45:00.003Z

What would you do if your son were murdered and you knew who did it? Like James Bulgar's Mum and Dad or the family of Rhys Jones. I have heard said from scores of people the line "Give me five minutes in a room and I'll sort them out". But let's say the rules changed and you were allowed to be locked in a room with a murderer - what would you really do? What if you challenge them, in front of your community to a duel to the death, an eye for an eye?

Knife Edge by Mark Whiteley opens at the Lowry before touring nationally later this spring.

I hope you find it interesting

Bad News

2010-03-01T21:06:00.003Z

I've got some bad news I'm afraid. I have just heard the unfortunate news that the Arts Council have cut our funding for Knife Edge, this makes the process of making a fantastic, innovative piece of theatre very difficult, but not impossible. I spent last weekend deep in self pity and bemoaning every one and every thing. This is good for a day or two but doesn't get things done. On Monday I picked myself up, dusted myself down and started what a good (I use that word loosely of course) producer has to do when the sh*t hits the fan - I started hustling.

I have had to cut back, but somehow I have managed to keep hold of my director, Adam Sunderland (nominated for TMA award this year) and so far 50% of my cast (I'll tell you when I've contracted them). This is testament to both Adam and the script. I have managed to make the sums add up, but I really need your help. Because of the shortfall I need bums on seats to survive. Losing our funding will have no bearing on the quality of this performance, it just means we have to be more inventive - but the arts are good at that.

So please, tell your friends, book a ticket and come and support the arts.

Thank you for your support

"The most exiting piece of theatre you'll ever see" Mark Whiteley 2010

2010-02-22T20:04:00.006Z

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Be up standing for Hard Graft's latest tour of Knife Edge by Mark Whiteley. We will endeavor to wow you with feats of great pretense. Actors will be dressing up and shall amaze you with their line learning capabilities.

But seriously, buy a ticket and tell your friends - Knife Edge is a new breed, faster, fiercer and will kill you dead.

April 2010
16/17 The Lowry Salford 0843 208 6000
22 The Arc Trowbridge (matinee & evening performance) 0845 299 0476
29 South Holland Centre Spalding 01775 764777
30 Rich Mix Bethnal Green London 020 7613 7498
May
6 The Maltings St. Albans 01727 844222
7 The Civic Hall Uppermill 0161 624 2829
8 Newark Palace 01636 655755
11 Paisley Arts (matinee & evening performance) 0141 887 1010
13 Guildhall Derby (matinee & evening performance) 01332 255800
14 Square Chapel Halifax 01422 349 422
18 Forum 28 Barrow-In Furness 01229 820000
20 CAP Centre Smethwick, West Midlands
27 Lakeside Arts Nottingham 0115 846 777

I will announce the cast next week. We've got some great actors for you though.....

Time the sleeping giant woke.

2010-02-15T21:50:00.002Z

Sorry I haven't written much, been writing Knife Edge (fifth draft). The original idea was about a man challenging the murderer of his son to a duel to the death. to discover what it must be like to go to the depths of despair and to come up again. Now on draft five, its about more, much more and I urge you to see what I believe is my finest play.

I've got a rash on my stomach, it's stress I think. I've applied for funding for my next production, Knife Edge which starts rehearsing in 4 weeks. I've contacted actors, but as yet I can't contract them until I know exactly how much money I have. It's all very very stressful.

I went down to Nottingham this week to meet up with an actor we want to use for Knife Edge. He's performing in a show at the Nottingham Playhouse called Forever Young. Can I take this opportunity to review the show. it's great. really funny with some excellent clowning and superb musical interludes, I urge you to see it.

2010-01-24T12:27:00.003Z

I went down to Manchester on Friday to say a quick hello and drop some things off for Hard Graft patron Amanda Holden. Amanda is in her fourth year of judging Britains Got Talent and by the number of paps outside waiting for a glimps of her they're doing rather well. Good luck Amanda.

Knife Edge - our next production had a brilliant reading last week at the Lowry. 25 industry friends (actors, writers, agents, directors and producers) came along to have a listen to what I've been writing for the last 6 months. I was bricking it! Adam Sunderland and the cast had worked their butts off to get it into shape and it was moving, funny, interesting and everything I want it to be with 3 months to go till D -Day. I have a feeling about this play, a deep sense that this is it, this is the one.

I'm also pleased that I've been asked by Reform Theatre Company (great company in Sheffield) to re-think Thick As Thieves. I can report that it's going very well indeed. You'll be able to see this one October and November 2010 in a theatre near you.

knife point for knife edge.

2010-01-10T20:37:00.003Z

Happy new year.

Hope you had a good Christmas? We're still digging out after the longest cold spell since the last one when the dinosaurs 'got it'.

I am bored with snow, with pushing cars and things being cancelled.

Any way thank you if you came to see the Elves and the Shoemaker we doubled last year's audience and look set to move next year's show to a 200 seater venue to keep up with demand. This week we had an extra performance in Helmsey North Yorkshire. We left Manchester at 7am because of the - 17 temperatures and arrived in Helmsey with more snow falling. there is no business like snow business. 2 shows later and we're driving home in treacherous conditions with a £1,500 insurance excess on the hire van down Sutton Bank.

Bloody bricking it! three actors in a van making life and death decisions based on how quick we'll get home (if you go round you add an hour on the journey). I'm still having flashbacks 4 days on.

Hard Graft Theatre Co. are having a rehearsed reading tomorrow with 4 actors at the Lowry of Knife Edge a new play I've been writing. It's a scary time for me, I've spent weeks alone thinking and writing this story only to have complete strangers have their say on my work.

wish me luck

Mark Whiteley

The show always goes on.

2009-12-23T06:31:00.003Z

Since I started Hard Graft we have only ever cancelled one show back in 1999 when we were doing Thick as Thieves in a shop in Nottingham. The first night was packed with friends and family and went down a storm. however, someone forgot to tell the population of Nottingham that we were on for three weeks and our second night was supported only by one lady. The Equity rule I think has something to do with the amount of cast out numbering the audience so Dan and I decided to cancel and offer the lady a ticket at a later date. Word soon spread and we played to packed houses for three weeks.

This week Saddleworth has been covered with snow. our sell our houses have been diminished to those willing to walk to the theatre in ski suits. My mobile and the office phone has been rung off the hook with people asking if we've cancelled. I will never cancel a show Clare comes from the other side of Manchester and David drives from Leeds, so I feel if they can get through the blizzards we must go on.

I'll leave you with these words

There's no business like show business like no business I know
You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died at dawn
Top of that, your pa and ma have parted, you're broken-hearted, but you go on

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Yesterday they told you you would not go far, that night you open and there you are
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star, let's go on with the show!!

Merry Christmas and thank you all for your support.

See you next year

mark

Elves and the Shoemaker opening day

2009-12-14T19:45:00.004Z

Hard Graft Theatre Company's second Christmas Cracker opened this morning in Uppermill Saddleworth with the elves and the shoemaker and what a show. An audience is so important to a show, they are one of the magic ingredients that finishes off they process of making theatre. today to two sell out houses magic was made and an old hall in Saddleworth became a theatre. Children laughed, grown ups groaned and I sat with a grim ear to ear listening to the lines that before today had only lived in my head.

Best thing today was - I play Santa after the show and a little girl came into my grotto and I asked her, " what did I bring you last Christmas?" She said, "I'm polish you didn't see me last year". Now, if you didn't know I've been touring the country with Dan doing a show called Poles Apart and Dan taught me about 6 words of Polish, one being Hello, How are you? You should have seen the smile on her little face when I spoke Polish to her -

Jak sie masz

Oh and I nearly forgot - Holly our helper over heard a kid telling a teacher "It's not the real Santa, I went to Lap land last year and he's tall and thin, not fat."

Elves and the Shoemaker

2009-12-05T17:08:00.005Z

Well, what a hectic week. We started rehearsing for the Elves and the Shoemaker our second Christmas show with Claire Lever and David Crowley magnificently directed by Judith Barker. I'm doing what I do best - collecting props and building a set.

We have now had to put on two extra performances to cope with demand on Sunday 20th and Christmas Eve. both shows start at 4.00pm -

I thought I learnt last year about how best to run these shows, only thing I didn't consider was the popularity of this year's show. We have sold out many shows and probably doubled last years audience, we can only build and learn from this experience. Costumes are nearly made, lines learnt lights ordered. The Elves and the Shoemaker will be a great Christmas show, see you there.

Update - I watch a run this afternoon and it was lovely. It's going to be the best childrens show we've produced

I'm living in beautiful mono again.

2009-11-26T09:24:00.005Z

You may remember my dog ate the hearing aid and left me sad and deaf, well thanks to the NHS I know have an aid for both ears. Unfortunately the left ear is so damaged I can't really get any noise I recognise from it.

Rehearsals are going well for Poles Apart. Dan has been up all week and we open tonight at the Lowry to a sell out crowd. The promoter there emailed me yesterday to tell me they had one seat left, thank you Manchester. Dan has written a load more material about the BNP and last night I dreamt a load of Brown Shirts were waiting for me outside the theatre. Hope dreams don't come true.

Hollyoaks

2009-11-17T20:16:00.002Z

Could I play his Dad? Answers on a post card.

We've nearly sold out at the Lowry, I'm so excited. Poles Apart is the most successfully show we've done. I know Dan reads this, (just in case I write about him) so listen. What you doing messing about in London when the world wants to see and laugh with you. 'Get on board the friendship train.' Write a show and tour with Whiteley, you're both good at it.

If you live in London though buy a ticket for Rich Mix

Enough already. I auditioned today for Hollyoaks as a dad with MS. If I got the gig I'd have to act in a wheel chair. Deaf and disabled - is there no limits to my talents? I spent all day learning the script all three scenes only to be told by Dorothy Andrew not to bother.

The Elves and the Shoemaker is also exceeding expectations. It's going to be an excellent show.

2009-11-11T19:58:00.003Z

What is it about people?

I got this facebook link sent to me from someone thinking that Poles Apart is a racist anti-Polish show. have a look.

here

idiots!

I made this for you

2009-11-11T14:48:00.004Z

I made a film for Poles Apart here. It's to publicise our next shows later this month.

News for November

2009-11-07T22:04:00.002Z

Hello Everyone,

I have just finished writing a play today so I'm in a very good mood. I'm
so happy I'd thought I'd share some of the love with you.

Right, I've got loads of stuff to tell you. Firstly Dan and I (if you
didn't know) are performing Poles Apart again at the Lowry in
Salford and the Rich Mix in Bethnal Green
*LONDON*. I've had my hair cut specially. If you didn't catch this show
earlier this year I urge you to go, it's funny with a serious message & and
with One Eyed Nick Griffin popping up every where this message of racial
harmony needs pushing.

Next - I've started a facebook group for people like you. I'm not very good
on Facebook so bare with me. To join the group click on this link here - no
here - no over here

It's going rather well isn't it?

Okay, if you really want to get in the mind of a world class actor/writer
you know can, by searching Alan Bennett on Google for everyone else I now
write me own BLOG . * "It's all
about me, it's all about me baby."*

And finally, this is where you're supposed to come up with a light hearted
story to finish the news, well sorry. The play I've just finished today is
called Knife Edge. If you
saw GRASS last year it's a step in
that direction. It's very scary, very serious and very dark story about a
fatal stabbing and how a family deal with aftermath. It tours next year so
look out for it.

That's it.

I nearly forgot. For all you fun loving 3-7 year olds out there we're doing
a version of The Elves and the Shoemaker this Christmas. Well, to be honest it's more like Shrek meets the Elves and the Shoemaker. It's at the Civic Hall Uppermill 14th - 24th December then
at Helmsley Arts Centre on the 7th January

My Dad's Dead.

2009-11-03T18:16:00.000Z

You go on holiday in Newcastle for half term and everything kicks off.

I haven't seen my dad for years, to be honest I didn't like him but nobody did. He was a nasty, violent alcoholic. He died on 16Th Oct but I didn't hear the news until the 29Th Oct. He had 7 children that I know of, 2 wives as well as 8 brother's and sister's and not one person came forward. The local council put an advert in the paper asking if any one knew him and still no one could be bothered to come forward.

They bury him next week, he's having a paupers funeral in Nottingham. This is a warning to all you nasty people out there - you will die sad and lonely and be buried in a card board box.

The best thing about this is my new family coming out of the woodwork that I've never met. I now know I have an aunty Mavis and Sheila -

Open Letter to BBC

2009-10-23T11:57:00.003+01:00

Dear Director General of the BBC,

Thank you. After last nights "advert" for the BNP I have been brain washed. Nick Griffin hypnotised me with his glass eye and turned me into to raving racist. One minute I was finishing off a bottle of wine the next I awoke, dribbling with an urge to run outside and shout "you white Bastards"! at the top of my voice, which is loud because as you know I'm "Trained".

Earlier today whilst I was in a supermarket check out I turned to the white girl serving me and said "What" in a really nasty way, this isn't like me. This I put down to Nick Griffin and the evil glass eye.

Yours

John Prescott (name changed to protect me from reprisals)

which witch would you want?

2009-10-20T20:46:00.004+01:00

Adele Parry Actor, choreographer, teacher and my sister in law is doing a fantastic witch and wizard workshop next week. It's half term so I suppose it'll be down there with stuff to send your kids on to get them out of the house for a day. It's a fantastic idea to help people in the creative industry feed themselves without asking for handouts or lap dancing.

It's really difficult as a free lance to keep you head above water. We hear so much about big company's in trouble during our crunch la credit' I mean if Martin Kemp is doing the SCS Sofa advert what hope have we lesser mortal actors got?

Good luck Adele I how you make something of it.

A Producers lot....

2009-10-19T21:13:00.004+01:00

I'm really pleased. If you don't know I'm producing a version of The Elves and the Shoemaker this Christmas in Uppermill Saddleworth. I decided last year that there should be a Christmas show for younger children in Oldham, as I thought Panto is a bit too old for them. It's very nerve wracking producing a show when its your own money. Thousand of pounds to bring actors, directors, choreographers, venue not to mention Santa, advertising and marketing.

Well, its starting to sell. We have two sell out performances already and tickets are shifting, not fast, but they're shifting.

I've been invited to a wedding, I love weddings - mine was particularity good - but can you believe it, I can't go, I'm rehearsing Poles Apart

I'm all alone.

2009-10-15T14:21:00.002+01:00

I've been left all alone with a baby and a four year old boy. Surely there must be a law about it?

This is fine, but I'm supposed to be producing two shows and writing another.

Thick As Thieves from Hard Graft Theatre on Vimeo.

Good news for all you "Old Skool" Whiteley fans. Our friend Keith Hukin from reform theatre has got the means to buy me to develop Thick As Thieves . Dan and Me toured it for years you can read the story of the play here.
I'm quite looking forward to re-visiting Steph and Barry

I rang t mobile today and told the girl who was annoying me that I was recording her. "I don't want to be recorded" she said "tough" I said "you record me, I record you".

The Last Chance to See

2009-10-08T13:33:00.004+01:00

Poles Apart Trailer from Andonis Anthony on Vimeo.

This is it. Your last chance to see Mark and Dan on stage together.

Dan (I'm going to blame him) has decided enough is enough and wants spread his theatrical wings and go and work with other people (who aren't me)

Me (Mark) am ...sad - but seeing a chance to exploit the situation have booked on the "Last Chance to See Tour"

Basically we're doing the Lowry in Manchester and Rich Mix in London.

To buy tickets for this historic event look on't me website www.hardgraft.co.uk and follow the link. or go to the venues websites above.

Oh yes, the show is called Poles Apart a cracking Polski comedy about two blokes who travel 2000 miles to Poland to get a job.

Still no hearing aid.

2009-10-05T20:17:00.004+01:00

The dog is off his food!

I can see it now, I'll have to take him to the vets to have him operated on (which will cost me a mint) and they'll find my Starkey S Series blocking his esophagus. I'll put a new battery in and it'll whistle away all day.

In the mean time I've dug out an old NHS Hearing Application Set and stuck that in my ear.

Magic our Morris

I've lost my director for Knife Edge. Judith Barker is a class act. Many years experience and over 250 plays under her belt, she knows what she's on about. she directed GRASS for me last year found a fantastic cast and made it good. She's off to tour Calendar Girls.

I did however have some luck today. I've been selling Poles Apart again, the show that just keeps on giving. It looks like we might well be on our way back to Shropshire again. Last time we went was with Coast to Coast and we made the from page of the Shropshire Star. Then Dan and I walked across the country with nothing more than a piece of comedy theatre.

hearing aid

2009-10-04T19:17:00.005+01:00

For the last two days I've sieved through our dogs muck looking for my hearing aid. I'm hoping that the strong case on the thing will be enough to see it through his small intestine.I was doing the dirty deed this morning and my neighbour walked by. I've got two children's spades and I'm chopping through shite. One more morning then I'm booking an appointment for the nhs audiology dept in Oldham

I hate being hard of hearing.

What?

I SAID....Funny.

Deaf - What? I said I'm deaf.

2009-10-03T06:18:00.004+01:00

I've lost my hearing aid.

Let's just stop and read that again. I have lost my hearing aid. I can't hear a thing, well a buzzing noise the surgeon left behind when he messed up my one poor sense.

I don't know what to do. £1000 and I haven't got it. Jess (my wife) said she heard the dog crunching on something at the top of the stairs last night. Do I wait till the dog does his business and sieve through it? and if I do sieve through it what will I find there?

The worst thing is that Jess goes away on Wednesday - I've got two small kids and I can't hear a thing.

for sale - border Colly with excellent hearing

On ya bike

2009-09-28T19:59:00.003+01:00

A few years ago I was asked to work for three days on a new play in Nottingham. There was no money involved but because I wanted to be an actor and I wanted to meet the writer and the directer I say yes.

Yesterday I organised an audition for Elves and the Shoemaker with local agents, this was the info I sent to them.

We're looking for a boy (20's 30's) to play the shoemaker and an elf. The show is for age 3+ we need a good mover and singer. the dates are 1 DEC till Christmas eve the one show on the 7Th January. Can you help? This would be a great job for a graduate.

The agents knowing that their young clients will be working with a fantastic director (Judith Barker) submitted actors - most of them with hardly any CV. I looked through the suggestions and invite actors come and meet us for an audition. Of the 10 actors I invited 7 come back to us and turn us down, two graduates (who'd be lucky to make the tea) said "they'd earn more money from their temp job.

The three days I did as a young actor straight from drama school led me to be offered the lead part in the play at the Nottingham Playhouse, then numerous adverts and finally a feature film in Rome.

Moral - make as many ripples as possible as you never know where they lead.

What's on in Saddleworth

2009-09-26T12:16:00.003+01:00

I went to the saddleworth business association the other night. as it says on the tin its business's based in saddleworth who meet up every now and again to talk about business in Saddleworth. confused?

This week a lady from Visit Manchester came to talk about marketing events in Saddleworth - that's why I went, to market or get help marketing the Elves and the Shoemaker this Christmas. We were talking about the lack of visitors to Saddlewoth and one chap pipes up "It's because they moved the tourist information into the library" quick as a flash the lady says "I don't think the half dozen visitors to the tourist information are really going to help you, you need an Internet presence, we had 1 billion hits last year on our website, maybe you need to try and draw some of those into Saddleworth?" He shut up then.

life and art

2009-09-21T21:03:00.004+01:00

Funny old day. I was on the street trying to make a few quid this morning when a beautiful woman approached me. "how much?" she said looking me up and down. I've been busted a couple of times recently so I'm cautious if I don't recognise people. "Who wants to know?"

no,no,no stop making it up.

I found an E.T. tonight - they can bleddy eat! I did a big shop yesterday, gone. I was glad when his mother ship got here.

Why are drugs illegal? Gordon Brown could make a fortune if he legalised them.. Stack em high sell em cheap.

The Elves and the Shoemaker

2009-09-16T09:15:00.004+01:00

Well we've had our holiday, gone back to school, work or life so now it's time to think about Christmas. Time for the endless rows about who's house you're going to end up at this year, whether you want a turkey again (too dry) or a goose (too fatty). "We could go out to a restaurant but that costs proper money.

Whatever you decide to do bare a thought for all those entertainers up and down the country in Pantos and Christmas shows making life a little more colourful.

This year in Saddleworth, Oldham Hard Graft present A GREAT christmas show The Elves and the Shoemaker, as I write I'm waiting for the set to dry in my back yard - Christmas comes early to the entertainers.

MERRY CHRISTMAS christmas show in saddleworth

If you're looking for somewhere to take the kids this christmas in oldham, saddleworth or dare I say the whole north west get yourself along to Uppermill, Civic Hall, Lee St.
Uppermill

Read all about it

2009-09-04T12:28:00.005+01:00

Spent the morning with Ruhubia a journalist from the Oldham Advertiser. Very nice lady and very interesting. She was helping me with research for Knife Edge. I never realised what journalist's go through to get a story, imagine knocking on the door of a family who's lost a son or daughter and asking for photo to put in the paper.

I parked in Sainbury's car park in Oldham today and as I walked to my car a man approached me and asked if I knew who's car this was and he pointed to a green Nissan. Sainbury's car park has parking for hundreds of cars and is used by thousands of people every day. No, I said. Do you have a camera I could use? he said. "Only on my phone". "Good" he said "Take a picture of this" . He had a scratch down the side of his car that he claimed was done by the Nissan. " I've been here two hour waiting, I can't believe they've been gone so long."

I text's the photo to his daughter (his phone didn't do MMS)

I left him waiting, talking to the bloke who collects the trolleys.

working 9 till 5

2009-09-03T18:44:00.004+01:00

Right here we go.....

I've been dossing in France on a beach for too long, I need to get some work done. Went to visit happy cow books in Uppermill today. Lovely man called Neil runs it. We've been trying to come up with ideas to work together on our Christmas Show the Elves and the Shoemaker.

I got a strange phone call today, a man asked me where my heart was? I said in my chest and laughed, then he asked again 'Where is your heart' and hung up. I 1471 him but no number.

I meet the press tomorrow.

later

2009-08-29T09:42:00.002+01:00

Welcome to the end of August.

Me I've spent the whole summer writing two plays, the first for our Christmas show this year the Elves and the Shoemaker. And in between writing that I've been putting down ideas for Knife Edge a play we're touring in the spring next year. I'm really excited about it, watch this space as they say.

OK, OK, OK I made a copy of OK

2009-06-17T12:56:00.005+01:00

My first appearance in OK Magazine. if you look at Lucy Jo Hudson & Alan Halsall's wedding pictures in this weeks OK about half way through is a photo of Amanda Holden dancing with Chris, her husband - look to the right of them and Jess and I are picture smooching.

Brilliant wedding. Probably one of the most "loved Up" weddings I've been to.

No one has noticed me though (to be fair I didn't notice Amanda Holden rang and told me.)

I forgot, when you go to an OK wedding they strip search you for mobile phones, cameras, lap tops or anything else that could record an image. they employ vast numbers of bouncers and elaborate schemes so as to keep the prying paps from glimpsing her dress or his suit. Buses ferried the congregation across Cheshire to the secret church only to be greeted by the entire village all eager to photo me and the members of Coronation Street. and then when ask to borrow my phone back to ring the kids a bouncers stands by your side to keep his eye on you.

fame, who'd have it?

radio killed the video star

2009-06-10T09:46:00.003+01:00

They say once bitten twice shy, but unfortunatly I didn't listen. A few months ago I was asked to do the Becky Want radio show on BBC Manchester with Dan as we were preparing for Poles Apart. Becky was really rude to Dan about his qualifications and as I remember Dan got really angry and vowed never to meet the woman again.
Cut to yesterday afternoon and I was invited once again to talk about my fame on her show, my wife told me I'd be stupid to go on again but me being me I tipped up again and low and behold she completly destroyed me and made me sound an arse. As I walked out of the bbc I was livid, swearing and cursing the woman, but now I've calmed down I think she's done me a favour. Yes I dislike the way she treated her 'guest' and yes I don't like sounding a prat, but this is a hard world I'm getting myself into to and I'll have to wise up quickly.

Great day apart from that I met with dentist Phil Broughton, actress Caroline Harding, and agents Georgina Andrew and Jane Hollowood

2231 hits have now been recieved on my website since 29th May 09

Whiteley Gets Pissed and shows his knob at wedding

2009-06-06T09:06:00.004+01:00

The hardest job about being famous is the amount of celebrity wedding one gets invited to. Next Saturday I'm off to Lucy Jo Hudson & Alan Halsall's wedding in Cheshire. So the question is, what do you buy the couple that have everything? I mean the last thing you need is OK magazine taking a picture of my Russel Hobbs teas maid and everyone knowing how tight I am. The other funny thing is how they list you in the magazine, you know Actress Amanda Holden or England and Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney or wannabe and bit part actor Mark Whitney (they're bound to spell my name wrong). As long as they don't list the parts I've played I'm laughing, imagine Policeman 2 in Heartbeat, the fat bloke that stood behind Kevin Wheatley in Peak Practice.

I've got lots of meetings this week for my Fame documentary, Casting Director, Agents, a Dentist and a photographer. I'm very excited. I'll let you know how it went as we go. right off to watch the Goonies with the lad see you.

Fame By Association

2009-05-31T07:28:00.004+01:00

Theatre Patron Amanda Holden

Amanda Holden has been Hard Graft Theatre Company's patron for a few years now, she helped me get to meet Piers Morgan and I'm sure she'll help me meet many other A listers. I've just been looking at my hit counter and made 378 hits last night on the back of Britains Got Talent, my association with fame is starting to work.

She's on the Larry King show this week so watch this space to see if America

I wanna be... from Andonis Anthony on Vimeo.

The Clock Has Started

2009-05-30T09:16:00.004+01:00

I started my six months countdown on Thursday. I now have until 30th Nov 2009 to become famous. I don't know how to measure such a thing so I've decided to go on Hits on the website.

If I can get 10,000 hits I'll consider myself cult.
20,000 C list celebrity
30,000 B list celebrity
50,000 + Famous

My hit counter was on 43,000 hits on Thursday since January 2004 so I've got to pull my finger out. So far I've had 328 hits so wish me luck.

End of the Piers Show.

2009-05-29T09:06:00.009+01:00

Piers Morgan meeting Mark Whiteley on Britain's Got Talent.

Our new project As Seen On TV has got off to an amazing start with a fantastic interview with judge and tabloid legendMr Piers Morgan. Our friend Al sent me some questions to ask Piers Morgan. I haven't done any presenting on camera and Al has more experience than me (thanks Al) . Anyway Andonis and I turned up at Fountain studios where they are filming the finals of Britain's Got Talent outside hundreds of screaming girls were waiting for a glimpse of me, but we managed to sneak in the back entrance.When Piers Morgan finally tipped up he was very charming, very entertaining and he answered every question with clarity and honesty, his advice to this wannabe was also very good (more on that soon).

The interview in the bag, I moved into the adjoining dressing room to see the beautiful Amanda Holden. You can see why Simon Cowell would want her on the show, she's stunning, intelligent and loves everything about the show with a passion. She too is off state side next week to co host a TV show over there. Good luck Amanda.

After champagne with Holden and her team (Jane and Ben) Amanda suggested I knock on the door of last year's winner George Samson. In the car park area of the studios was a massive Winnebago. I don't think Andy was too fussed and didn't want to push his luck, but I thought it'd be a great interview with a great star. I knocked on his door for 5 minutes until a massive body guard appeared - "hello" I said,"is George in?" I felt like a kid next to this gorilla, maybe what I should of said was "Is George coming out to play?" He looked at me and Andy, who was standing behind with the camera and grunted "He's resting". "It's just Amanda Holden, said he might like to do a quick interview with me, I'm making a documentary about fame and he's famous isn't he?" I turned round to get some reassurance from Andy, but he'd disappeared over to a gang of school kids to get some cut aways. "He's resting" the body guard reiterated. "Okay, thanks, sorry to bother you".

I've got loads of people to meet next week including Chris Gascoyne, Sue Johnston, celebrity hair stylist Ben Cooke and celebrity dentist Phil Broughton from The Mall

If you've got any questions for them email me
If you've got any ideas how to make me famous email me

thick as thieves

2009-05-27T16:16:00.002+01:00

If you're interested I've put the full version of thick as thieves on the web. We made this film about 5 years ago when I was loads slimmer. The play was performed over 100 times all over the country to critical acclaim.

2009-05-25T08:53:00.000+01:00

I start a new project on Thursday. I'm trying to become famous in six months and on thursday I have an interview with Piers Morgan from Britains Got Talent.

I have no idea what I'll talk to him about - wish me luck.